InCourage Couple
The Relational Dynamics Assessment
Interactive · Works on any device · Instant access after purchase
Why This Exists
You've named the emotional environment shaping your relationship. That's not a small thing. Most couples spend years — sometimes decades — living inside a climate without ever having a word for it.
But here's what the Climate Assessment can't tell you:
Every climate is made up of roles — specific, predictable ways each partner shows up under stress, under disconnection, under the weight of unmet needs. You have one. Your partner has one. And the combination of those two roles is what creates the loop you keep finding yourselves in.
The Pursuer and the Distancer. The Manager and the Escaper. The Critic and the Shutdown. Two roles. One loop. The same argument, dressed in a hundred different outfits.
When you can see the dance — not just the climate, but the specific steps each of you is taking inside it — the pattern stops feeling like a personality flaw and starts feeling like something that can actually shift.
What's Inside
Connection-Protecting, Autonomy-Protecting, Control-Stabilizing, and Withdrawal — rated individually, scored automatically.
6 questions per role. Rate each 1–5 based on your typical patterns under stress. Your two highest scores reveal your Primary and Secondary roles.
All six loops described in full — with your specific loop highlighted based on your results. See exactly how your roles interact.
One purchase covers both of you. Take it individually, then compare results. Most couples find the conversation alone shifts something.
The Roles
These aren't personality types — they're nervous system adaptations. They formed for a reason. And they can shift.
From Matt & Dina
We didn't build this assessment from a textbook. We built it from 34 years of living inside these patterns — until we chose radical honesty about everything and found our way to the other side.
Dina was The Monitor. Always reading the room, tracking Matt's emotional temperature, bracing for disconnection before it arrived. Matt was The Escaper. When tension rose, he got busy. Got quiet. Got gone.
Neither of us chose those roles. Our nervous systems did. And until we could see the dance clearly — not just the climate, but the specific steps each of us was taking — we couldn't find a way out of it.
— Matt & Dina, The InCourage Couple
That's why we built this. Not to label you — but to give you the clarity that changes what's possible.
The Loops
A loop is what forms when two roles meet under stress. Your specific loop will be highlighted in your results based on your Primary role.
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Relational Dynamics Assessment
$37
Instant access · Interactive · Works on any device
One purchase covers both partners. Complete individually, then compare results.
These 12 roles don't only live in romantic partnerships. If something felt familiar while reading — and you were thinking about a parent, an adult child, a sibling, or someone at work — that's not a coincidence. The same nervous system patterns that shape romantic loops also shape every significant relationship in your life.
The roles travel with us. So does the possibility of shifting them. If you'd like to explore this in another relationship context, reach out — we work with those dynamics too.